Rant Here
Humor with a cutting edge - videos, jokes, pics and more
Articles
Toilet Reading
2012-04-11 12:18:53
The perfect book for your toilet - poems for the little room.... What an idea - a small book of poems and photos specifically for that smallest of rooms - the WC... read more
2012-04-11 12:18:53
The perfect book for your toilet - poems for the little room.... What an idea - a small book of poems and photos specifically for that smallest of rooms - the WC... read more
Golf and Bees
2012-01-20 15:19:15
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round Of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to Return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse And asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?" "I was stung by a bee", she said. "Where", he asked. "Between the first and second hole", she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
2012-01-20 15:19:15
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round Of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to Return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse And asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?" "I was stung by a bee", she said. "Where", he asked. "Between the first and second hole", she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
The Immigrants' Poem
2011-11-03 08:50:39
I cross ocean, poor and broke. Take bus, see employment folk Nice man treat me good in there. Say I need to see welfare. Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door. Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy! By and by, I get plenty money. Thanks to you, you British dummy! Write to friends in motherland. Tell them 'come fast as you can. They come in turbans and Ford trucks, And buy big house with welfare bucks! They come here, we live together. More welfare cheques, it gets better! Fourteen families, they moving in, But neighbour's patience wearing thin. Finally, British guy moves away. Now I buy his house, then I say, 'Find more immigrants for house to rent.' And in the yard I put a tent Everything is very good, And soon we own the neighbourhood. We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding. read more
2011-11-03 08:50:39
I cross ocean, poor and broke. Take bus, see employment folk Nice man treat me good in there. Say I need to see welfare. Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door. Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy! By and by, I get plenty money. Thanks to you, you British dummy! Write to friends in motherland. Tell them 'come fast as you can. They come in turbans and Ford trucks, And buy big house with welfare bucks! They come here, we live together. More welfare cheques, it gets better! Fourteen families, they moving in, But neighbour's patience wearing thin. Finally, British guy moves away. Now I buy his house, then I say, 'Find more immigrants for house to rent.' And in the yard I put a tent Everything is very good, And soon we own the neighbourhood. We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding. read more
Wishing for a Doomsday
2011-10-27 04:20:18
So we have survived through Mr. Camping's May and October dates for the end of the world and I truly thought I could relax now.....at least until 2012. But, f**k no, now apparently we are now all going to be exterminated by Aliens in November. Yes - that's quite correct. Three huge Alien space ships are approaching Earth as we speak with an intent to annihilate us all. Governments all know this and are keeping it secret from us all. These space aliens have apparently come to reclaim a few of their own who have been spying on us in in lieue of the invasion force - Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson..... Don' believe me? Just Google man.... or click here for one take on the story.
2011-10-27 04:20:18
So we have survived through Mr. Camping's May and October dates for the end of the world and I truly thought I could relax now.....at least until 2012. But, f**k no, now apparently we are now all going to be exterminated by Aliens in November. Yes - that's quite correct. Three huge Alien space ships are approaching Earth as we speak with an intent to annihilate us all. Governments all know this and are keeping it secret from us all. These space aliens have apparently come to reclaim a few of their own who have been spying on us in in lieue of the invasion force - Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson..... Don' believe me? Just Google man.... or click here for one take on the story.
GOVERNMENTIUM – SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT
2011-10-24 03:03:15
Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. read more
2011-10-24 03:03:15
Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. read more
Alcoholism Test
2011-09-30 06:38:57
Take this test to see if you are an alcoholic..... If you saw the 'bar' sign then you are an alcoholic...
2011-09-30 06:38:57
Take this test to see if you are an alcoholic..... If you saw the 'bar' sign then you are an alcoholic...
Items I Found on Amazon
2011-09-21 06:40:10
I don't know about you but I always thought Amazon was an online bookstore right? well, no..... See, I went looking at Amazon the other day and found a few things that I NEVER expected Amazon to carry.... Take this for example; I have a few questions Amazon... first - Can you actually deliver this discreetly? I mean, what if the packaging came open... what would our post mistress think of me, and.... where the hell would I keep it? and if someone discovered it what would I say it was? The mind boggles... And then there is this... read more
2011-09-21 06:40:10
I don't know about you but I always thought Amazon was an online bookstore right? well, no..... See, I went looking at Amazon the other day and found a few things that I NEVER expected Amazon to carry.... Take this for example; I have a few questions Amazon... first - Can you actually deliver this discreetly? I mean, what if the packaging came open... what would our post mistress think of me, and.... where the hell would I keep it? and if someone discovered it what would I say it was? The mind boggles... And then there is this... read more
The Book review
2011-09-19 07:32:43
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool teacher gave him an A+ for this report. Titanic:...... Cost - $29.99 Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton :... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.. Clinton :...... Bill is a bullshit artist. Titanic:... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill. Titanic:...... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica. read more
2011-09-19 07:32:43
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool teacher gave him an A+ for this report. Titanic:...... Cost - $29.99 Clinton :..... Cost - $29.99 Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton :... Over 3 hours to read Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton :... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.. Clinton :...... Bill is a bullshit artist. Titanic:... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton :.... Ditto for Bill. Titanic:...... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton :..... Ditto for Monica. read more
BBQ Rules
2011-09-12 07:10:30
We'll be entering the BBQ season in a few months. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity… When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part: (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine... (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. read more
2011-09-12 07:10:30
We'll be entering the BBQ season in a few months. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity… When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part: (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine... (6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. read more
Funny Spam
2011-09-05 01:51:50
I found this spam email in my email this morning... funny!!! I now have the Chancellor's email address... HM-Treasury is compensating you with the sum of £550,000.00 pounds. Contact chancellor Osborne for more information via his email address: goerge.mposb@hotmail.co.uk Do send him your FULL NAMES / COUNTRY / SEX / SERIAL #:768369.Pls send accurate details to him Asap for claim. Signed,Jon Thompson, Finance Director,HM Treasury.
2011-09-05 01:51:50
I found this spam email in my email this morning... funny!!! I now have the Chancellor's email address... HM-Treasury is compensating you with the sum of £550,000.00 pounds. Contact chancellor Osborne for more information via his email address: goerge.mposb@hotmail.co.uk Do send him your FULL NAMES / COUNTRY / SEX / SERIAL #:768369.Pls send accurate details to him Asap for claim. Signed,Jon Thompson, Finance Director,HM Treasury.